For most people, January is a time for resolutions, re-thinking the events of the past year, and re-evaluating things you can do to make your life happier, better, and on the whole more livable.  Although living on an academic schedule means that I don’t abide by the normal rules of time, most of my friends are of the population for whom the year actually begins and ends in accordance with a lunar calendar.  I also can’t help but recall that this is the time of year when PhD applications are in and everyone who has made the big decision to commit to a life of academia (or at least is flirting with the idea) has already given the dice a good, solid roll and is now in the horrible waiting space of trying to figure out what’s going to come up.

The waiting space is awful.  For everyone going through it, my heart most sincerely goes out to you.

Some recent events in my life (and the lives of those around me) have made me stop to think about some of my own choices.

As you can tell if you read this blog with any frequency, my life is not easy.  In fact, it’s overwhelmingly difficult sometimes.  I have a lot of things which require my attention, a lot of things which I worry about, and almost no certainty in anything.

But you know what?  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m constantly saying that I know I’ve made the correct decisions because, even when I’m having a bad day and facing problems that seem insurmountable, I know with the utmost certainty that I would rather be facing these problems than any other.

Friends constantly make the observation that I always seem happy in what I’m doing,

This adventure never would have happened if I hadn’t taken a leap into the darkness…. (Shakespeare & Company; 2008)

even when I’m overwhelmed.  And you know what, blog-o-sphere?  I am.  I’m busy, I’m crazed, I’m fighting a trip to the literary loony bin with every passing moment, but I am happy.

So, if you are amongst those January-people, here is some completely unsolicited (but, in my experience, completely sound) advice for how to be, similarly, happy.  It’s slightly outside of the scope of my usual writings, but I feel that this needs to be said.  How do you know my advice is sound, you ask?  Because I’ve already told you that I, myself, have experienced that it works.  And I’m pretty smart.  And modest.  I’m way modest.

Change is inevitable and nothing good every came from stagnation.  To quote perhaps the wisest of them all, Ralph Waldo Emerson, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.  A man’s life, lived only in a continually enacted pattern, is a violation against his nature.  Happiness doesn’t come from complacency.  Complacency is the mind-killer and the greatest thing to be feared.  Embrace the change, seek the change, and don’t be afraid of the change.  It’s your best friend on the road to happiness.

Speaking of fear, it’s inevitable.  My mom (a wise person herself) claims that it’s an acronym for “False Expectations Appearing Real”.  I’m not sure where this originated (I think it’s some therapist’s credo of some kind), but it’s been comforting to me.  Fear is to be expected and, if you spend your life hiding from fear, you’re never going to find happiness.  Do things that scare you.  In my experience, those have been the only truly fulfilling things that I have done.

Nor this adventure (Tufts; 2011)

The great swath of the unknown which exists on the brink of our universe is where adventure lies.  Just like Bilbo Baggins, nobody who is content to stay at home will ever find it.  I’m not saying there’s no value in having a nice, cozy place to come home to when you’re done adventuring, but if you have the option between a mediocre nest and a potentially fulfilling adventure, step off the edges of the map.  Nobody lived a fulfilling life only by wishing.

Plans never work out the way you planned them.  Flexibility is another key to finding the elusive happiness beast.  That’s not to say don’t plan; plan.  Plan to your heart’s content.  Just don’t expect that everything will line up the way you anticipate it and expect for some things to go wrong.  Do not hang your happiness on expectation.

Enjoy the ride and try, as much as you can, to take in the moment around you.  That moment is going to be gone far too quickly for anyone’s liking.

It’s not easy.  If anything is easy, it’s probably not worth the effort.

Do not confuse “simple” and “easy”; they are not the same thing.

Yearnings must be answered or they turn to regrets.  Dreams are not to be silenced, just quieted sometimes.  Chasing stars will always land you somewhere you never thought you’d go, though rarely will it put you where you planned to be.

And always always remember to breathe.  No matter what; it’s a quick and easy way to automatically improve whatever situation you may find yourself in.