A Very Bardy Birthday

On Sunday, I turn 25.

This means a lot of things… the first of which being good god I worked so hard this week so that I can spend a weekend only thinking about my papers in passing.  With the realization that due to my life choices I will, without fail, be stressed out on my birthday every single year, I also made the decision that I will strive to give myself at least a day off to celebrate on the anniversary of my introduction to the world.  I only narrowly managed to succeed this year but thank whatever agnostic deity is listening it’s all settled.

A quarter century is an interesting time.  I can’t really term it a “long” time, but it sure seems like long enough when I think about the amount of stuff I’ve achieved (and the thought that most of these things had to wait at least fifteen years before I could properly achieve anything).

 I have to admit, my actor’s brain is slightly freaking out.  For an actor, getting older is a curse as much as a blessing.  Every year one grows this much closer to completely re-defining one’s career.  As you age, your type changes with you and (since type is so important to contemporary casting practices) this in turn shifts your capabilities.  Unless you are in an extremely unique situation, as much as we like to think that theatre is an art about creativity, more often than not it’s an industry of placing butts in seats.  What that means for an actor is catering to one’s physical traits with one’s acting style.

I, for instance, had a very difficult time getting work.  I was always told to wait twenty years because then I would grow into my type.

… they also told me to lose thirty pounds and move to Europe where I would surely be seen as a castable type…. There’s a reason I’m no longer primarily an actor.

My finals are tucked cozily into a nook of my desk where they will remain until Monday.  I’m putting them out of my mind. So here’s the crisis I’m going through now.

…what about the parts I’ll never get to play?

Women, especially, are subject to the tyrannical rule of casting-by-type and age has a great deal to do with the politics of casting actresses.  When I was training at the American Globe Theatre, my mentor there (Mister John Basil) gave us a chart breaking down these types.  For women, the chart looked something like this…

Ingénue – 14-20 (Juliet, Miranda, Lavinia)

Mistress – 20’s (Rosalind, Viola, Isabella)

Leading Lady – 30’s (Portia, Lady Percy, Lady Macbeth)

Dame – 40’s and up (Paulina, Volumnia)

Again, this is my approximation of John’s chart and his point wasn’t to say that these characters MUST be played by actresses in this age range, but if you were playing these characters you had better look like you are in this age range.

The other week, I was talking about monologues with an old friend of mine.  He mentioned that he was reviving some of him stuff because he had felt the need to work on it again.  I sighed wistfully and said, “I really should… I should have one from each of the major play types at least… there aren’t many good ones in the histories though.”  To this, of course, he replied with Lady Percy (who has some KICK ASS monologues, by the by) and I replied, “I’m too young.”

He looked me up and down and said, “…you may not be.”

I thought about that for a moment.  The prospect was slightly thrilling and terrifying at the same time.  After all, the last time I had worked on monologues I was firmly within the “mistress” range edging into too young for those… the last time I worked on monologues I was playing Phoebe and Julia, La Pucelle and Marianna, young women.  Lady Percy?  A widow (albeit before her time)?  My nineteen-year-old self couldn’t do it…. But my twenty-four-soon-to-be-twenty-five-year-old self?  Can I really play Lady Percy?

And then the sorrow set in.  Will I really never play Juliet?  Will I be doomed to never play the balcony scene, except when I recite it to myself in the shower sometimes?  Am I going to pass the benchmark for ideal age for my favorite Shakespearean heroine (Rosalind, in case you were wondering) before I ever get to play her?

Now admittedly, in order for one to have a stage career one must be auditioning (something which I have not done in many a year) so perhaps it’s unfair of me to be upset about these things.  It’s like wishing to win the lottery when you never buy a ticket.  And I did leave the realm of professional theatre for reasons (very good ones), so my melancholy has a certain amount of rose-colored glasses-wearing to it.

That said, I can’t help but be slightly misty-eyed at the thought that I’ll never speak the words, “O God, I have an ill-divining soul…” or “you kiss by th’book” in front of an adoring crowd of sighing theatre-goers.

…but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it ruin my weekend.

 

>A Very Bardy Birthday

>On this very week, dear reader, our own Bard turns 445.

I say week as no one really knows the day upon which Shakespeare was born. The actual birth day of a child went unrecorded for the most part in Shakespeare’s time as so many infants did not live until their baptism. Shakespeare was baptized on April 26th, 1564 in the Holy Trinity Church in Stratford Upon Avon.

Now, there are varying opinions on what this means. Some will say that traditionally, baptisms are held three days after the baby’s birth (placing the Bard’s Birthday on April 23rd). The Prayer Book of 1559 offers instructions to have infants Christened before the first Sunday or holy day following the birth unless there were some extenuating circumstance, in which case a curate’s permission could be obtained to hold the Baptism on another day. A little bit of Calendar work tells us that in 1564, the 23rd day of April just so happened to fall on a Sunday. That Sunday, due to its proximity to the Feast Day of St. Alphege and the feast day of St. Mark has traditionally been an unlucky day, which means that Shakespeare’s Baptism may have been one of those extenuating circumstances. So, like most aspects of the Bard’s life, his day of birth still remains a mystery.

What it does mean, however, is that heads are being turned towards the Bard once more as the day of his probable naissance approaches. In fact, the Mayor of Chicago has proclaimed this April 23rd to be “Talk Like Shakespeare Day”. In case you were having strange flashes of “Talk Like a Pirate Day” (September 19th of every year, more information can be found at talklikeapirate.com), yes it’s just like that.

Now I don’t know about you, but I am truly torn about this proclamation. On the one hand, it is wonderful that such attention is being drawn to the Illustrious Bard. It is also fantastic that individuals are being encouraged to think “Elizabethanly” and outside of their normal comfort zone in an effort to connect to a piece of Bardom. It sounds like a fun endeavor, and I do hope that people take it as such. But on the other hand, efforts like this merely encourage the stereotype of “speaking Shakespeare”. Yes, CNN does concede that “It isn’t as difficult as it sounds”, but then they go on to list various ways of “Shakespeareanizing” one’s speech (among the suggestions are to not “waste time saying “it.” Just use the letter “t” (’tis, ’twill, I’ll do’t)”, to “add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth)”, and “to add weight to your opinions, try starting them with “methinks,” “mayhaps,” “in sooth” or “wherefore.””.

Really, guys, it’s not that hard. Most people speak Shakespeare every day without even knowing they are speaking Shakespeare. If in your life something has ever come full circle, been Greek to you, as obvious as the nose on your face, a wild goose chase, a foregone conclusion or the be-all and end-all, you’re speaking Shakespeare. If you have felt faint hearted, fancy free, as merry as the day is long, more sinned against than sinning, stony hearted, like a laughing stock, like you’ve seen better days or not slept one wink, you’re speaking Shakespeare. If you’ve ever been sick at heart, lain low, waited with baited breath, put your best foot forward, felt something in your heart of hearts or seen something in your mind’s eye, had a method to your madness or a spotless reputation, played fast and loose, gilded the lily or been snatched from the jaws of death, you’re speaking Shakespeare. If you’ve ever been given cold comfort, been eaten out of house and home, killed with kindness, told the naked truth, been sent packing, seen a sorry sight, worn your heart upon your sleeve, had something set your teeth on edge, felt as though the world’s your oyster, had too much of a good thing, given the devil his due or waited forever and a day you’re speaking Shakespeare. If someone has ever broken the ice, been dead as a doornail, the devil incarnate, had a heart of gold or a knit brow. If you’ve refused to budge an inch. If you know that every dog will have his day, as good luck would have it you’re speaking Shakespeare.

So… why go on making faux intellectual statements about how to “Shakespeare up” your speech? Why not just take some time to pay homage to all of the things you actually say every day which came from the Man himself and don’t make you sound like “that guy” at the office? You’ll still be honoring the spirit of the holiday, you’ll probably learn more than you will by throwing “forsooth” in now and again, and you won’t make yourself into the laughing stock of corporate functions.

And if all else fails, just take a moment to read your favorite speech. Don’t have one? You can borrow one of mine. Love’s Labor’s Lost; Berowne; line 1639 “Oh tis more than neede…”. King Lear; Bastard; line 335 “Thou nature art my Goddesse….”. Hamlet; Hamlet; line 1829 “Speake the speeche I pray you as I pronounc’d it to you…”. Midsummer Night’s Dream; Helena; line 240 “How happy some oer othersome can be…”

Happy Birthday, Will. The world is truly a better place for having you.